The Difference

What makes one doctor a miracle worker while another is unhelpful?

Do you think it is their intelligence level? Their education? Their personality? Upbringing? Character? What makes the difference?

Considering my own experience with doctors along with the second-hand role I’ve played as a mother and caregiver, I must have at least a hundred stories I could tell you. But you don’t need to hear them, because chances are good that you have a lot of your own.

I’m going to guess that you’ve been to doctors with a multitude of credentials who are very sure of themselves. I’m also going to guess that at times you’ve had to see medical personnel who were fresh out of school or who were inexperienced with your particular condition.

I have at least two stories from my own experience where a miracle worker was actually a physician’s assistant rather than a full-fledged doctor.

So what made the difference?

Let me shift gears a minute and tell you about the years I’ve worked in customer service, educating myself on what makes the difference in solving the customers’ issues. I believe that to solve a customer’s issue, a representative needs to carry it through the organization, especially if it is a large company. Increasingly, the companies’ policies are to do exactly the opposite, take the information and pass it on. Who among us has not had the experience of calling a company, being promised that something would be taken care of, and being disappointed that it wasn’t. The one sure way to solve customer’s problems is for the first person in that organization who hears about it to “own” it. If that employee needs to turn it over to accounting, they need to follow-up to see if accounting did what they promised. So, years of customer service experience have taught me that to be effective, I need to “own” the concern.

Recently I saw a poster that gave me a different perspective on owning another person’s issue. The picture showed a silver-haired gentleman with a little boy building a model sailboat. The caption said, “Love is my decision to make your problem, my problem.” The poster was probably the best definition I’ve ever seen describing love as an action.

The poster reminded me of the decision a customer service representative makes to own a customer’s issue or to make it their own problem. I had never before equated customer service with love. It is just business. It is just one stranger serving another for money. However upon a deeper examination of the subject, it does seem that humanity is all connected to each other. Jesus advised us to “love our neighbors” and even to “love our enemies.” Maybe it does take a certain amount of human compassion to serve others, even if that is your job.

But let’s return to thinking about doctors. The two physician’s assistants I told you about earlier who worked miracles obviously cared about the patient’s difficulty. When I go to see a doctor, either for myself or with a loved one, I notice the doctor’s eyes, their posture, and their choice of words. Is it a coincidence that those who have ended up being unhelpful are rushed, abrupt, and all business? Is it a coincidence that those who have worked miracles listen and engage themselves?

Doctors are trained to stay somewhat emotionally distant from their patients. The logic is that you set yourself up for too much grief if you have a personal concern for every patient.

My father-in-law had a successful heart surgery, performed by the region’s most renowned doctor. After we knew he was doing well, I witnessed a large group of crying people comforting each other in the hospital’s family room. Later I saw the face of the surgeon while walking down the hall. I will never forget the expression on her face. How can I explain it to you? It was filled with a magnitude of sadness and personal failure. She had lost a patient in surgery. She had saved hundreds, but she lost one. I know she is smart and skilled, but I believe I know the true reason why she is so successful and famous in our area. I saw it on her face that day in the hallway.

It is my belief that the difference in doctors is whether they take on your problem as their problem. And it isn’t only the difference in the medical field. It makes the difference in customer service, in mechanics, in appliance repair, and in a thousand other “jobs.”