Reduce Stress

I used to wonder how a person could reduce their stress. It seemed easier to talk about than to actually find any actionable stress reducers. That was back when I would drink ten cups of coffee during my work day regardless of what happened either inside or out. The reaction wasn’t severe enough to stop me.

Fibromyalgia has made me acutely aware of actionable items to reduce stress. Right at the top of the list is, “quit my job.” That would surely reduce stress. Is it a viable option? It probably is not. So instead I need to find alternatives. I stopped drinking coffee. Caffeine can be a source of aggravation for the pain of fibromyalgia and it increases the effects of stress, so it makes sense to stop.

Some behaviors are inherently stressful. Things like driving in heavy traffic and public speaking are examples. It doesn’t really take a rocket scientist to identify things that cause stress.

What can you do to eliminate your involvement in stressful situations? You can say no.

You can tell your boss that you won’t give a presentation to 250 people at the annual meeting. You can tell your spouse that you don’t want to go skiing. If you have severe pain, you might even need to tell your best friend that you won’t go to the movies.

Yes, I am listing positive things as stressful, like skiing and the movies. Positive stress is just as pain-producing as negative stress. Your body is going to respond negatively even if your mind and heart respond positively. When your husband walks your daughter down the isle of the church, it might be the happiest day of your life….or at least it could be if your fibromyalgia is not in a state of flare.

Why do you always experience a flare at the worst times? Why do you feel worse physically when you are traveling for your vacation or attending a big party? The answer is stress.

I’m sure it isn’t news to you that fibromyalgia is not fun, but perhaps it is news that having fun can be a pain trigger. This is because there is often what is ordinarily considered a “good stress” associated with having fun.

In my early years of having this affliction, I started making “tentative plans” with my friends. Instead of committing to going shopping on Saturday, I would tell them that I would go “if I felt good.” I never knew how I would feel from day to day. It either had to be “no” or “only if I feel good.” My truest friends tolerated it, and things have gotten better for me. These days, I feel good enough to commit. However, I still avoid winning a trip to Hawaii or Europe. Oh yes, I’d love to see those places, but I understand what my real choices are. Visit Hawaii while feeling intense pain (before, during and after), or stay home and feel pretty good. For me, feeling pretty good outweighs most enticements.

If you have never considered that having fibromyalgia might clip your wings, and the thought is making you depressed, remember that lifestyle is like a bank account. You have choices. If you make enough deposits through right lifestyle choices, you can probably take that trip to Hawaii. If you are willing to pay the price, you can do anything your sisters can do. I should never eat another bite of chocolate, but I’m going to eat it occasionally because living without it is too much of a deprivation. You don’t need to lead a perfect life; you just need to be really mindful about choosing your poison.

Stress will usually increase your pain. Your body won’t discriminate as to whether the stress is positive or negative. You need to acknowledge that stress is a withdrawal from the lifestyle bank account. Tranquility is a deposit.