Your diagnosis - Your pain

Do you have a diagnosis for fibromyalgia? Did you come by it quickly as I did, or have you been to many doctors? Maybe it is your wife or you child who has the label.

In any case, I want you to know that you aren’t alone.

Chances are you’ll feel alone, because people with fibromyalgia usually look well. There are no distinguishing marks, no gushing blood, and not even anything subtle like being pale or flushed.

Sometimes (perhaps often) other medical conditions exist alongside. But without another condition (which is my case), medical tests are also almost always “normal.”

It can be extremely frustrating for someone who has multiple physical symptoms and who is in great pain to be repeatedly told that their tests reveal them to be “perfectly healthy.” I know from experience what it is like to be a completely miserable, yet verifiably healthy individual.

So if you have pain, and if you have been given the fibromyalgia label, expect frustration. Expect to be inadequate in your explanations with your doctors and loved ones alike. Expect people to doubt you, even completely disbelieve. If someone does believe you, rejoice and recognize how fortunate you are. Count your blessings for the people who understand. I predict they will be very few and far between. And if you are lucky enough to have your spouse as a believer, that person is worth more to you than winning the lottery.

If your emotional imagination works like mine, you might wish for purple spots oozing pus just to demonstrate your agony. Sorry, fibromyalgia is invisible to others. You are the only one who will perceive it.

If you are new to the experience, you might also feel fear. Bearing pain by itself is one thing, but it becomes quite another when you add fear. I completely understand that your arm might feel like it has become dislodged from your shoulder. I sympathize that the pain in the side of your back hurts enough to be a malignant tumor. Fear doesn’t help.

In most cases, medical tests will reveal that your arm is fine and there is nothing in your side to cause your pain. So am I advising you not to seek medical attention? No. Unfortunately, even people with fibromyalgia get injured and sometimes have other problems. Think of it as a test to challenge your frustration tolerance. You thought the pain in your back must have meant a slipped disc, so you went to the doctor and found out it was “just the fibromyalgia” “again”.

As far as I know, fibromyalgia won’t do you any permanent damage. It might be a week or it might be seven years, but your back will feel better again. By then, your left leg might feel like it is broken, but your back will be better.

Recognize the pain and the fear. Acknowledge them. Then remember that even if the pain is mostly out of your control, the fear is optional. For some reason, pain without fear is easier to bear.